Living Automatically, by Choice

Living Automatically, by Choice

"This way or that way? 

All in all, if you want to form a new habit, you can! Acquiring a new habit tends to take just over two months until it is automatically cemented into your brain’s neural pathways. Use the willpower inside yourself to commit to repeating the behavior so that you can form a new and positive habit. Sooner than you may anticipate, you will no longer need to think about doing the behavior. It will become automatic."

Emily vanSonnenberg, MAPP '10, is a psychology therapist, writer, researcher, and teacher. 
http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/emily-vansonnenberg/2011020116315

Habits & Traditions

Habits & Traditions

As I finish the holiday weekend, I started thinking about how alike habits and traditions are.  I watched my daughter in her twenties truly appreciated the traditions of family, playing games, and cooking/eating our favorite foods on Thanksgiving.  I also talked to my other daughter (who spent the holidays with some friends and could not be with us this year) as she voiced her regret at missing the festivities.   There is often comfort in tradition as there is in our habits… both are behaviors that seem to happened naturally and are part of who we are.  Both can be changed, but the process of change often feels foreign and uncomfortable even if it is positive… much like attending some other family's holiday with traditions that may be wonderful but are different than our own.

It's just like riding a bike.... you never really forget a habit .

It's just like riding a bike.... you never really forget a habit (good or bad.) 

According to a 2009 MIT study, "Habits help us through the day, eliminating the need to strategize about each tiny step involved in making a frothy latte, driving to work and other complex routines. Bad habits, though, can have a vise grip on both mind and behavior. Notoriously hard to break, they are devilishly easy to resume, as many reformed smokers discover. ... Important neural activity patterns in a specific region of the brain change when habits are formed, change again when habits are broken, but quickly re-emerge when something rekindles an extinguished habit -- routines that originally took great effort to learn."

The study also suggests that a learned pattern remains in the brain after the behavior is stopped, and that is why it may be so hard to change a habit.

Habit is overcome by habit.

"A nail is driven out by another nail. 

Habit is overcome by habit."
Desiderius Erasmus

 

What is the best way to break a bad habit?  Focus on creating new good behaviors (habits) that replace the bad habits.  It feels much better to focus on doing something good then it does to focus on trying not to do something that you like to do or that you are used to doing.

For example: If you want to stop eating so many sweets, instead of focusing on NOT eating sweets... try focusing on eating more fruit & veggies - regardless of how many sweets you eat. As you start filling your hunger with other type of foods, your desire for sweets will decrease. 

Will's Wisdom

I found this video inspiring and great to watch if you start to doubt your ability to change your world.

Habit is what keeps you going.

"Motivation is what gets you started.  

Habit is what keeps you going."  ~Jim Ryun 

If I had a nickel for every time I started something... well never-mind I don't have those nickels and I also fully agree with the quote above. Excitement and motivation are great, but if you don't apply the persistence and commitment needed to make something a habit, when the excitement wears off, all your great plans and efforts can fade away.

First we make our habits ...

"First we make our habits, 

then our habits make us." 

-Charles C. Noble

This quote makes me think about how really hard it is to change established bad habits. I don't think this means that we can't change - I have known a few people who truly made lasting and impressive changes.  However, from my experience it is much more common to see people who need/want to make a change but have a difficult time making changes that last.

Sometimes seemingly small bad habits can have huge effects on people's lives.  I have some "little" bad habits that I know I need to change, I want to change, they seem easy to change and I periodically make an effort to change...but I still find myself slipping into these old habits whenever I am not diligent. I think the fact that they seem like fairly "minor" bad habits makes it easier to excuse my own behavior, but I beleive these "little"  habits add up and are keeping me from reaching some of my goals. 

This issue is really the reason I decided to blog. I hope the attention needed will keep me focused on creating habits that make my life better... not worse.

Making permanent changes ... one habit at a time.

I always get excited when I decide to make a change.  I can't wait to get started and one good idea sparks another. Before I know it I am trying to change multiple habits at once.  For example, if I want to lose weight I might decide to; eat breakfast every day, walk for 30 minutes 4 times a week, cutout all sugar, count calories and journal daily. In my excitement, all of the items seem very doable, but a therapist friend of mine explains that people have much better success if they focus on changing just one habit at a time.  I did some additional research online and find a common theme... if you really want to make a change that lasts, focus on one behavior/habit at a time.  Once the first habit has a foothold you can add another.

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Making permanent changes ... one habit at a time. 

•  Pick only one new habit to focus on each week.  
• Give yourself a real chance at success. Don't add a new habit until you are feeling successful with the first one... if it take 2-3 weeks per habit, that's OK.  
• Once you are ready, add the next habit... but don't stop working on the first one until it is ingrained (at least 2 months.)    In this manner, you could form 26+  real, lasting habit changes each year.
• Don't overwhelm yourself. Limit the total number of active habits you are working on to 3-5 at any one time.

•  Record your efforts.
• Logging your progress will help you succeed.  Track your efforts daily for at least a month.  This is an easy way to keep yourself accountable. The longer consciously work on making or breaking a habit, the better your chances at a long term success.   Some common ways to track your progress include journalism, making notes on a calendar or using a online tool or mobile app.

•  Reward your success. 
• Set a reward for yourself when you reach the 21 day & 60 day mark.  There is a saying that it takes 21 days to create a new habit  however, newer studies report that it is more like 60 days.  Either way I say reward yourself!  Setting a reward can help provide motivation to keep you going after the excitement wears off.
  

When doing this research, I was excited to realize that in just one year, I could make (or break) dozens of habits.  This concept sounds very doable and I think it could be life changing for me. -metoday

I will push you onward or drag you down...

I must admit... I feel best when my actions match my intentions. I am determined to be the person I hoped to be. -JM

Who am I? 

I am your constant companion,
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am at your command.

Half of the tasks that you do,
you might just as well turn over to me
and I will do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed,
but you must be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done;
after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great people
and alas of all failures as well.
Those who are great I have made great,
those who are failures I have made failures.

I am not a machine,
but I work with all the precision of a machine,
plus the intelligence of a person.

Now you may run me for profit or
you may run me for ruin.
It makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me,
and I will lay the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I? I am called Habit.

- Author Unknown

I found this poem on the web at www.inspirational-e-quotes.com

"Habit" according to Wikipedia

"Habits are routines of behavior that are repeated regularly and tend to occur subconsciously, without one being conscious about them. Habitual behavior often goes unnoticed in persons exhibiting it, because a person does not need to engage in self-analysis when undertaking routine tasks. Habituation is an extremely simple form of learning, in which an organism, after a period of exposure to a stimulus, stops responding to that stimulus in varied manners. Habits are sometimes compulsory." Wikipedia